Tuesday, November 2

Preg Porn

This evening I stopped at Sav-On to pick up a prescription. And as I approached the counter, I noticed a woman wearing those stupid maternity jeans with the stretchy top (which were actually pretty cute). I thought maternity jeans were intended to cover the expanding belly, but these must have been the fashionably low-cut style, because between them and the Ashley-Olsen-sized-but-stretched-out-like-Fat-Albert yellow t-shirt she was wearing, I could see a fleshy belt of skin. (And not a small one.)

I figured that this sort of thing must come with the territory. Occasional lower belly showing must just happen. How many maternity clothes can you buy?

But then she PICKED UP her shirt, as if to invite the entire drugstore to gawk as she rubbed her giant, child-bearing stomach. “Look, everyone, I’m having a baby, but I still think I’m really hot.”

I don’t purport to know anything about carrying a growing thing in my stomach, nor do I yet understand the feelings that go along with such an endeavor, but I am not under the impression that public naked belly rubbing is acceptable pregnant behavior.

How is this different from me lifting up my shirt and caressing my own stomach right there?

No pregnant porn for me, thank you.


6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

what's the superlative form of "ew"?

- Mr. Thunderbird

November 3, 2004 at 8:09 PM  
Blogger Mamacita said...

I think it's 'Ewwwwest" Or maybe just a facial expression that defies words. I've been pregnant. It's itchy. But non-pregnant people get itchy too. Neither should publically display said itchy portions of anatomy.

November 3, 2004 at 9:13 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

Perhaps you should have asked what the purpose in her lifting her shirt was?? :)

November 3, 2004 at 9:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Angie - I'm sure the answer is something along the lines of "to show off my hot belly, bitch!"

- Maxwell Tedesco

November 4, 2004 at 10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ye cats!

i have been pregnant twice and never have i had the urge to lift my shirt and rub my naked belly in the store. ever. i mean you kind of get into this habit of rubbing your pregnant belly because it's there, like a strapped on beach ball. but actually lifting the shirt to rub it? crazy. not to mention that she already seemed to have a vast expanse of it uncovered. two words...preggo exhibitionist.

oh and i love the word 'gelatinous' too. it almost sounds like what it is when you say it, doesn't it.

franci (aka circe...found you via your comment on my blog)

November 10, 2004 at 7:01 AM  
Blogger Chicka said...

I had something growing in my belly once. The doctor gave me antibiotics and it cured me right up.

(And what...you didn't get to see her thong? You just ain't lived until you've seen butt floss on a preggo. But then again, when you're VERY pregnant, even granny panties become butt floss.)

December 6, 2004 at 9:13 PM  

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